Stop saying “yes” when you mean “no”
Hey ZORA fam!
Tell the truth, are you saying “yes” to people, plans and projects that you really wish you said “no” too? Are you afraid to reject or disappoint loved ones or partners? Are you more concerned with keeping the peace than you are with your inner peace?
We’re here to tell you that it’s time to start flexing that “no” muscle. It’s harder than it seems and may feel awkward and uncomfortable at first (especially if you’re used to people pleasing which, let’s face it, most of us are). But as ZORA’s Sex & Love columnist Ayesha K. Faines writes in her essay “The Audacity of Nope,” our “no” may be the greatest tool at our disposal to manifest our dream life, career and relationships.
➡️ Read “The Audacity of Nope.”
Our lives aren’t determined by what we want. Our lives are determined by what we allow. All of the people and experiences that we allow into our lives, over time, exert the most profound impact on our beliefs about who we are, and what we deserve. When we tolerate treatment that undermines our sense of emotional and physical wellbeing, when what we are allowing contradicts what we want, our self-esteem crumbles — compelling us to settle even more. It’s not until we audaciously reject toxic people and dead-end opportunities that we begin to create the energetic space for our desires to manifest.
It may seem counterintuitive to suggest that rejection is the way to access more opportunities. But sometimes the way to get what you want is to say “no” to what you know you don’t want. Your “no” might piss some folks off, but it will set you free.
Don’t settle. Summer is right around the corner. Make sure those boundaries are strong, sis!
Take care,
— Jolie A. Doggett
Senior editor, ZORA
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