This article is part of The Pleasure Principle, ZORA’s ultimate guide to solo sex, self-pleasure, and self-love.
When’s the last time you made your pleasure a priority?
I know for myself, I have a hard time putting my pleasure and happiness at the top of my list. It’s easy for me to go out of my way to make someone else happy. I’m an overachiever at work; I go above and beyond for my family and friends. Even in my relationships, I have a hard time making my needs the center of attention. I typically make sexy time all about the other person, and I feel awkward or even ashamed if someone asks me what turns me on. What I want shouldn’t be what matters… right?
A lot of women of color can probably relate to this. We’re the primary caregivers in our families; we start entire movements for our communities. We always carry everyone and everything else on our backs, but when it comes to putting our needs first, so many of us don’t even know where to start.
If you find yourself in the same boat, if you can’t remember the last time you gave your body some extra special attention, if you find yourself rushing through your alone time, or if the thought of getting sexy just leaves you feeling awkward, embarrassed, or even guilty, ZORA wants to help you out. In our new series, The Pleasure Principle, we’re gonna talk about sex, solo play, and all the benefits of really putting yourself, your needs, and your pleasure first.
There’s so much power in reclaiming your pleasure.
We want to do more than just teach you the basics of masturbation and solo sexual play. We want to show you how to prioritize putting yourself and put your needs first, and we want to help you show up in the world the way you want to be treated. We’re also going to give you the tools to get the most out of your alone time so that you better understand (and appreciate) your body.
In an essay from our senior editor, Morgan Jerkins, we’ll discuss why it might be hard for women of color to truly let go and be in the present moment. Our resident astrologer, Ashleigh D. Jay, will break down your birth chart and let the stars guide you toward getting the most out of your sexual encounters. A sex expert will walk you through all the ways you can have your most explosive orgasm during solo play in one story while in another article, medical professionals will explain why it might feel painful or impossible to reach your climax. And our final installment in the series will celebrate all things erotica and letting your imagination run wild in unique, creative, and sensual literary adventures.
Sex is great and all, but when was the last time you felt like you were inciting a revolution with your orgasm?
You might think this series is just about sex, but sex itself is about more than just the physical act. It’s about learning about ourselves and our bodies and understanding what makes us feel good in more ways than one. In this special series, you’ll understand who you are, what you like, and how to demand more of it every day.
As sexologist Shamyra Howard explains in this series, there’s so much power in reclaiming your pleasure and allowing masturbation and pleasure to show up as a revolutionary act. I mean, sex is great and all, but when was the last time you felt like you were inciting a revolution with your orgasm?
We want you to remember there’s nothing guilty about pleasure. In fact, it’s one of the most healthy (and fun) ways to show yourself some love and appreciation, and we could all use a little more self-love. Your pleasure is the principle, and ZORA is going to make sure you never forget it.
We want to hear from you! Take the ZORA Solo Sex Survey to share your experiences with self-pleasure.