Zoe Spears Was a Dreamer and a Go-Getter
Those who knew her say she was always setting goals
This story is part of Know Their Names, a collection of articles illuminating and celebrating the lives of Black Trans women.
“I want you to be my mother.”
That was the moment Zoe Spears stole Ruby Corado’s heart. It was after the police escorted Zoe, 19, to Casa Ruby, an LGBTQ safe haven in Washington, D.C., which Ruby founded. Later, Zoe shared her wishes to change her last name to include Corado, a nod to the impact Ruby had on her.
“She didn’t trust many people,” Ruby says. “I wanted to be the one person in her life she could count on.” As circumstances would have it, Zoe found two people she could depend on. “We sat and talked for nearly three hours straight,” says Shannon Wilkins, Ruby’s fiancé, of his first encounter with Zoe.
Before he knew it, she’d won him over. At least until she took shots at his vintage Jordans. “Those don’t even look like Jordans. They’re old and funny-looking — do better,” Zoe remarked while meeting up with Shannon one day.
“What are you talking about? These are what real Jordans look like. Not whatever you kids call yourselves wearing today,” he clapped back.
When the two weren’t engaged in humorously heated shoe debates, their connection was a tender one. “I remember the day Zoe called me Dad,” Shannon reflects. “She was the first kid to call me that, and it touched me in a way I’d never known before.”
“She would always tell me she wanted to be a girl, and I would tell her she was already a girl.”
From that moment on, the two had an unbreakable bond, which included a shared love of action-hero movies, like Avengers: Endgame. As Zoe opened up, Shannon learned even more about her. At Casa Ruby, for example, Zoe made gestures toward eating healthy at Sweetgreen but usually settled on pizza, and she jammed out to her favorite rap artist, Snow Tha Product.
Ruby and Zoe’s relationship dynamic looked a bit different from Zoe and Shannon’s. “When it came to Zoe, I meant business, and she wasn’t always having it,” Ruby says of her role as a mentor. “I didn’t know what to do with Zoe. I couldn’t help but love her. She was just so much fun, and I couldn’t resist her personality. You just had to meet Zoe where she was at, and after a while she was good to go.”
Once Zoe landed at Casa Ruby, she became a dreamer and a go-getter, and every time she accomplished one goal, she was ready to do more, Ruby says of Zoe’s upward momentum. Zoe had a job in retail and was practicing harm reduction and regularly seeing a therapist.
She also attributed Zoe’s proactivity to her feeling at home in her own skin. “She would always tell me she wanted to be a girl, and I would tell her she was already a girl,” Ruby recalls.
But Zoe explained that her definition of feeling like a girl meant getting breast implants and her gender-affirmation surgery. At Zoe’s request, Ruby took her to Children’s National Hospital to begin her hormone therapy and get appropriate medical care, which Zoe decided with the providers.
Afterward, Zoe’s confidence soared. Ruby recalls her often saying, “I can wear anything and look good.”
“She reminded me of myself when I was younger,” Ruby says. “I tried to encourage her to wear just a bit more, but she’d [jokingly] tell me I’m just jealous because I look like a grandmother.”
Zoe eventually began feeling cramped at Casa Ruby and was ready to get her own apartment. At 22 years old, with the help of Casa Ruby and other organizations, Zoe signed a lease and secured the keys to her very own place. Her apartment was in close proximity to Eastern Avenue, where many Trans women engage in sex work.
According to Iya Dammons, founder and executive director of Baltimore Safe Haven, an organization serving the LGBTQ community with a primary focus on Trans women, Zoe began picking up habits from other girls that threw her off track. “She wasn’t the kind of girl that did all that, but once she got sucked in, it was hard for her to get out of the game,” says Iya, who first met Zoe at Casa Ruby two years prior.
Zoe began frequently engaging in survival sex work, compounded by addiction, according to Ruby. The young lady quickly began to spiral and, Ruby says, eventually confessed that she didn’t want to do sex work anymore. That’s when Zoe asked if she could come work at Casa Ruby. Ruby agreed, under the expectation that Zoe would submit a clean urine test, which was mandated.
Zoe continued engaging in sex work and using drugs, according to Ruby. She says she tried to get Zoe to stay off Eastern Avenue and keep going after her dreams. But Zoe always ended up reconnecting with the girls from the strip. “She was the kind of girl who felt bad for her sisters and would let other homeless kids move into her apartment, especially during the holidays,” Ruby recalls.
Things took a darker turn in the early morning of March 30, when Zoe witnessed her close friend Ashanti Carmon lose her life after being shot multiple times. Zoe, traumatized and afraid for her life, began reaching out for help.
“Zoe called after Ashanti was murdered and told me she was looking to relocate,” Earline Budd says.
Earline was one of Zoe’s case managers at HIPS, a harm-reduction program Zoe frequented. “I made a lot of calls to get her relocated, with no luck,” she recalls. “The system worked against her, and the response wasn’t rapid enough to meet her in her time of crisis.” Earline says Zoe had also made several phone calls and went to multiple agencies on her own, and no one could help her.
Zoe reached out to Ruby and told her she was afraid to go home and feared for her life. Ruby brought Zoe back into Casa Ruby to keep her safe. But Zoe became antsy. One night, she made her way off the grounds and back toward Eastern Avenue.
On June 13, at a little before midnight, Zoe was tragically gunned down only blocks away from where she witnessed Ashanti’s murder. Zoe, 23, was pronounced dead at the scene.
“My greatest hope for her was that she stayed away from that area while the police investigated,” Shannon says. “I wish she would have stayed where she was safe and being looked out for.” Shannon also expresses frustration that the police didn’t place Zoe in a witness protection program when she reported witnessing Ashanti’s murder.
While authorities don’t know if the two murders were connected, Earline shares her own opinion. “I believe the murders were related,” she says with unwavering certainty. “It’s so terrible. Zoe was the person who didn’t take no for an answer. She was boisterous, and when she wanted her way, she wanted her way. She had so much potential, and it’s a shame we had to lay her to rest so soon.”
“When I think about Zoe, I think about all the great things she did and where her life was heading.”
Unlike Ashanti’s murder, an arrest was made for Zoe’s death. Gerardo Thomas, 33, was charged with first-degree murder.
“When I think about Zoe, I think about all the great things she did and where her life was heading,” Ruby says. “This shit is hard.”
Ruby and the community held a memorial service for Zoe five days after her murder, on what would have been her 24th birthday.
“That girl was a beautiful soul. I’ve been doing movement work for a very long time, and girls like Zoe are what keep me moving,” Ruby says, “I won’t ever forget her.”
