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Why Women Choose to Be Single

Don’t allow peer pressure to lead you to go through the motions

Feminista Jones
ZORA
Published in
5 min readNov 4, 2019

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Illustration: D’Ara Nazaryan

YYou swiped right and it’s a match. You connected at a book signing or tech conference. Maybe a friend of a friend’s cousin has a friend they thought was perfect for you. It’s your Year of Yes, so why not? You exchange numbers with the hope that there’s substance beyond the façade but keep your expectations low because you’ve been down this road before. After texting back-and-forth, the vibe is building nicely and you feel comfortable sharing more about what you do for a living, your hobbies, and some of your deeper beliefs and values. Your potential bae is impressed, if not a bit skeptical, so they ask:

“Why are you single?”

Depending on how it is asked, what seems like an innocent enough question can easily go left. How do you answer without being snarky, overexplaining yourself, or coming off as conceited or self-absorbed?

I used to give full answers, often explaining that my last relationship ended poorly and I was taking time to work on healing. After a while, though, I felt like I was making excuses for why I was single as if I had to qualify my status as being more “in between” relationships than unapologetically doing me. By overexplaining my reasons for being single, I…

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ZORA
ZORA

Published in ZORA

A publication from Medium that centers the stories, poetry, essays and thoughts of women of color.

Feminista Jones
Feminista Jones

Written by Feminista Jones

She/Her | Author, Activist. Philly-based, NYC-bred. #ReclaimingOurSpace Twitter/IG: @FeministaJones FeministaJones.com/contact for inquiries

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