Yes, Attraction Matters

“Give the guy you’re not attracted to a chance!”

Photo by Dhemer Gonçalves via Pexels.

As a Black woman, it’s really annoying to hear white men complain about attraction when it comes to dating. In my last article, I wrote this:

“Good men are rare. Finding a man who wants to be with you, whom you also have mutual compatibility and attraction with is rare.”

Then I got men commenting on my article stating good men aren’t rare, women just aren’t attracted to them.

Stop it.

Let’s step into the real world for a second and accept that when dating, attraction matters.

It matters a lot. I’m willing to bet these same men don’t date women they’re not attracted to. How do I know they don’t? Because doing that is cruel. It’s not fair to that person. Every person deserves to be with someone who desires them. I hate to break it to you, but sex is apart of a romantic relationship for the most part. The cool thing about attraction is that it can grow over time. Thanks to the proximity principle, this happens a lot.

You do realize there are many, many men who simply refuse to date women of certain races right? Men who will not try dating fat women. Men who will sleep with women they’re not attracted to, but will only commit to their ideal woman. Usually, this woman resembles their mother in some ways.

Not to mention men of color. There are women who will not date some men because of their race. There could be a Black man with multiple degrees, a fit body, a well-paying job, who is God-fearing, but some women with a racial preference won’t touch him with a ten-foot pole.

Attraction matters for ALL of us.

In addition to that, I stated a good man who you’re attracted to and compatible with is rare. That’s rare for everyone, just swap out the genders. We’re all looking for that one person. Sure, pretty people may have more options, but those options are shallow. Pretty people know this. They have a different problem when it comes to finding a mate. They have to weed through the people who don’t actually like them, they just like the status they give them.