Why Pole Dancing Is My Preferred Form of Self-Expression
Don’t judge me
I’m a wife, mother of a two-year-old, pregnant with my second child, and I’m a pole dancer.
I’ll never forget the first time I became intrigued by pole dancing. I was 15 years old, Usher’s biggest fan, and captivated by some of the dancers in his concert. While the world saw something erotic and provocative, I saw beauty, strength, and art. At the time, I didn’t dare ask my parents if I could look into classes because I was convinced they saw what everyone else did: classless girls who didn’t respect their bodies and had been reduced to a man’s eye candy.
Ten years later, I finally enrolled in a class and became hooked. I loved everything about it: the variations from Chinese pole to choreography with heels, various spins, and low-flow classes. I became obsessed with watching my body transform into a muscular powerhouse as well as the sense of community the activity provided. And though my takeaway wasn’t sexual pleasure, I even became comfortable with touching myself and exploring my body as I became lost in the music. It was a hobby that quickly became my passion and preferred form of self-expression.
While the world saw something erotic and provocative, I saw beauty, strength, and art.
Once I became a mother, pole dancing became more than just a hobby for me. It was my therapy and self-care. It wasn’t long until I was taking multiple classes a week and purchased a pole for my home.
Displayed prominently in my living room is a strong and sturdy X-pole that has taken me through financial insecurities, near mental breakdowns, unbearable toddler tantrums, friendship breakups, and more. Whether in my home or at a studio, that pole has served as my inner peace and my rock. Most importantly, it is my hideaway when I need to escape the myth of the strong black woman.
The beauty of pole dancing is that I don’t have to be the unbreakable black woman without fears, have the answers to everything, and carry the weight of the world on my back. Pole dancing allows me to strip down to who I really am. When I pole dance, I’m not saddled with these loaded labels, but I am strong. I acknowledge that I can do all…
