Perfectionism and Covid Don’t Mix
A flawless life should never have been the goal.
Seeking perfection is rather inherent to being a Black woman in America. Like many others, my parents told me I had to be twice as good as White people from an early age. They programmed me to be the best at what I did to have any hope of being successful in life. Still, I didn’t realize I was a bit of a perfectionist until the dawn of Covid-19. One day deep into the pandemic, my husband stopped me and sternly said, “Everything doesn’t have to be perfect.” I don’t remember what I was doing specifically because, in retrospect, it was minute in the scheme of life’s big picture. His words made me take pause because he was right. Covid-19 preparations make a million life tasks harder as it is. Through no fault of my own, life couldn’t be more imperfect right now, but I was still forcing the issue. But why?
Black women wear many hats and if we get “off-schedule” or disorganized for long, some of us believe it will lead to catastrophe. When things become off-kilter, perfectionists blame themselves, mostly, or sometimes people they love for contributing to the derailment of their best-laid plans. This includes being late, not helping enough with a task or the kids, or tinkering with a work project after they got it exactly right. I realized more keenly during Covid-19 that I was behaving like this and not liking myself…
