When Social Media Rains, It Pours

Black women should learn to make up their own minds without social media doing it for them.

It's Ericajean
ZORA
Published in
4 min readSep 18, 2023

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As women, we face sexism and other ordeals unique to our gender and sex. However, we as Black women, are bombarded with ill messages pertaining to our womanhood and our Blackness. Unfortunately, those with the larger platforms are heard the loudest, and their words can color our own internal ethics and opinions.

First, we are told to not date the bus driver, but the one who owns the buses.

Then we were told to accept a homeless man as our mate.

Now, we are being told by none other than Tyler Perry, to not be upset about a man who can only pay a light bill.

In all cases, the message is directed at Black women, and after listening in and contributing to a Swellcast on this topic, I’ve learned a great many things more about Black women and relationships.

Was Tyler Perry 100% wrong for what he said?

I think Mr. Tyler has been in the Madea get-up for so long that he feels he is the spokesperson for Black women. In the Swellcast I was a part of, a Black guy said Black women are at fault for this. “Black women are the most educated and just keep getting degrees. Only 1% of men are actually millionaires or even thousandaires.”

In other words, Black women should already know that more than likely, a man will be out of her league. To be honest, every person has a passion and a career they shoot for — man or woman, they cannot help that their mate will be bringing in more so should a Black woman dump a man who makes less than her, or is there more at stake here?

Most relationships are joint efforts…but some aren’t

In my own relationship, it is a joint effort. We place all our income together(which makes the home income larger), and then we factor out the bills. There is no “I make more and you make less” mentality. We understand we are in a world where sometimes, or the majority of the time, one paycheck will not suffice. Plus, I never rely 100% on a human anyway, and love earning my own.

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It's Ericajean
ZORA
Writer for

Essayist and poet| Author of Rumors of Ouroboros and Sea of Iron Hands.