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When Ending Your Marriage Is About Self-Care, It Feels Good
A personal story about your neighborhood writer
As you can tell by the name change from Gaines to Wiltz, I’m going through a divorce. And after packing my bags, kissing my dogs goodbye (at least for now), and making it back to New Orleans, I noticed something — family, friends, and colleagues expected me to be broken. I could see it on their faces the second I said “divorce,” that look of sorrow and pity. “Oh, I’,m sorry it didn’t work out,” or “Oh, this must be such a difficult time for you,” or the classic, “Are you sure about this?” was the typical response. But, frankly, in my experience, divorce has been nothing like the doom and gloom chronicles many people envision.
For starters, you should know that for years, I felt stuck in a loveless, passionless marriage. Of course, it didn’t start out like that — promises were made to love and cherish one another, all that jazz. But in the end, my husband wasn’t willing to put in the effort that he did, in the beginning to keep our flame alive. He stopped taking me out on dates, wanting to hear about my day, sharing details about his life, or even sleeping in the same bed with me. I felt alone in my marriage, and during the coronavirus lockdown, I started to fantasize about pulling the plug…
