What Da’Naia Jackson Did Next: The Revelations of the Woman Behind Derrick Jaxn
Last week Black YouTube was caught up in a tornado — with an EF5 rating, no less. The cause? The exclusive two-part interview by Da’Naia Jackson, the now-separated wife of Derrick Jaxn.
When news of the interview dropped I must admit my curiosity was aroused. It was going to have to be assuaged. And so I set about doing just that. I clicked on the link.
A Picture of Poise, Beauty, and Grace
I was overjoyed to see Mrs Jackson looking radiant and beautiful on the couch opposite Laterras R. Whitfield host of the successful podcast Dear Future Wifey, and nothing like what the cruel taunting barbs levied at her only half a year ago had described.
I listened as the soft-spoken mother talked of neglect by a father whose approval and attention she yearned for, sexual assault at the age of 19, and then meeting the man at the epicenter of the maelstrom: Derrick Jaxn.
The Shock of Discovery
I had not come to learn about him. But now I did. Of the fact that he had never been faithful to her: from the beginning. Now that was a shock. And merely the first of each seismic reverberation that followed steadily in the wake of another.
His habit of keeping women in rotation. Her willingness to keep him even then. The toll it eventually took on her during their marriage, crystallized in her words, “If I hadn’t left Georgia at the time, I would have died in Georgia.”
A New Picture, Old Takeaways
By the end of Part I the picture I had of Da’Naia, was of an intelligent, beautiful woman yet terribly wounded and therefore vulnerable, hopelessly attached to a man she loved deeply. A man to whom she clung to save her from the tumultuous torrents that raged within.
I also saw the beauty and the strength of the black family structure. That unquestioning support and care we provide to our loved ones when they stand between that place that exists between life and death. As Da’Naia’s family had done for her. Forcing her to eat, and caring for her kids while nursing her back to health. Proof that the faces of our loved ones are indeed the face of God.
Getting Chosen “Over All Those Hoes”
And yet Da’Naia Jackson’s elation at getting the ring over “all those hoes” made me think about the ways in which black women on the continent and in the West, had been conditioned to view men as this invaluable resource who must be clung to whatever the cost.
In Nigeria, my home country that scenario often plays out with many a woman’s life being immolated on the altar of tradition as upheld by custom and religion, consumed by a thousand flames of heartache, humiliation, and endless toil, and silence. With no reward in sight whatsoever.
The Infamous Video: A Heartbreaking Truth
Part 2 continued with the same earth-shattering rumblings. For all his exhortations on YouTube and the Gram, Derrick, it turned out, was a man who was quite content to bask in the rather inappropriate attentions from members of the opposite sex right in front of his wife!
Laterras R. Whitfield, the podcast host wanted to know about the infamous video which had been released in the wake of the first cheating scandal.
Da’Naia revealed she had been pregnant at the time, (while also mourning her father-in-law), and just how close to the brink, how close to taking her own life, she had been.
And as she spoke I remembered the unkind, cruel words YouTubers and Twitter users alike had unleashed against her. Words she had read even as her soul hemorrhaged. People had mocked her “helmet of salvation” (which by the way had been a beret and not a bonnet) but now she revealed she had clung to the verse told her that if she clad herself in the armor of God that she would be saved.
It had been her lifeline. And I was glad I had been right at the time about how wrong those words had been and about the fact that she had been experiencing deep profound pain, the true extent which she had only just revealed.
And I think it is just one lesson for us as black women to remember to extend an extra helping of grace to our sisters, in a world only to eager to inflict scars on our souls and cackle at the result.
However, I wish Da’Naia had not gone the route of transparency in her attempt to save her marriage. Some things in the past are better left uncovered. Like the 100 or so women from Derrick’s past and recent present. Now his powers of recall in that regard? That was unnerving, to say the least.
And the fact that he decided to divorce a woman willing to love him in spite of that? Mindblowing.
A Beautiful Exchange and Praise for the Host
And yet, in a world where black men are rewarded for cruelly denigrating black women, it was refreshing to see a black man treat another black woman with warm courtesy. Laterras R. Whitfield, host of Dear Future Wifey had done his due diligence before the interview, determined only to bring Da’Naia onto his channel if she felt whole enough to handle it. He had even had a makeup artist cater to her to make sure she dazzled. Now that was something.
The humor between Laterras and Da’Naia, reminiscent of two old friends, or a brother and sister was marvelous to behold. But the most beautiful part of the interview for me was the words of healing, blessing, and restoration he spoke over her. It was moving to watch and elevating too, to witness such an outpouring of kindness.
And I feel thankful to him for elevating her voice and wish him joy and elevation as I also wish her as they leave the past behind and face the future with faith.
I wish you the same dear reader, for who knows what hurts and sorrows we bear hidden from the world or revealed in plain sight as we greet each sunrise hoping those scars will fade away and those tears will cease?
Until next time.
Thank you for reading.
