Member-only story
The Year I Became My Own Superhero
Everything you want is on the other side of your comfort zone
I started 2019 exhausted, lonely, and two unexpected flat tires away from being broke. I’m a single mom, a professor, and a freelance journalist meaning I spend most days running on fumes while juggling parenting obligations, speaking engagements, writing projects, and teaching responsibilities. I had very little time for my relationships, let alone my damn self, and I operated with the understanding that any unforeseen financial emergency could cause my world to fall apart
I desperately needed to make changes in my life. I craved a healthier life with more financial freedom. But my fear of change prevented the former and professional setbacks created the latter. I felt stuck and lost, in need of rescue from the stifling comfort zone I found myself trapped in. Everything I needed to transform was on the other side of this comfort zone but getting to the other side was a whole other story. Steadily gathering the strength of mind and body to snatch myself out of the dangerous grasp of my own complacency turned out to be my superpower, and when I discovered the power of my faith, consistency, and determination, I became my own superhero and rescued myself.
By the end of January 2019, I already felt like I was off to a bad start. I had left a really prestigious literary agency and was getting adjusted to the feel of a new one. Change, even when it’s in my best interest, has always made me nervous. And this new move was no exception. In fact, it was a lot more anxiety-producing than I expected.
I wondered if leaving such a large company for a boutique agency would slow down my publishing dreams. Would my book idea and proposal be good enough? Would this smaller and less known agency be able to help me land a “good” book deal? Was leaving the right decision? Those questions constantly pushed their way to the center of my thoughts and consumed what little writing time I had. Even the simple act of opening my laptop was all I needed to slip into panic mode. Exhausted from fighting anxiety, I’d eventually collapse into a sleep that would be broken by an immense feeling of disappointment in myself for not doing enough. Wash, rinse, and repeat the next day.
