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ZORA

A publication from Medium that centers the stories, poetry, essays and thoughts of women of color.

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The Case for Dating Outside of Your Race

We ought to seek the love of those who see us, hear us, value us, and recognize our humanity, no matter what color they are

6 min readNov 18, 2019

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Illustration: D’Ara Nazaryan

II saw a television advertisement a few years ago that featured a Black woman and her White husband and I paused because, at the time, it wasn’t a commonly featured pairing. Most of the interracial couples or families in commercials I’d seen up to that point featured a Black man and a White woman, and had been considered progressive, even controversial, on their own. After seeing this ad, I began to pay closer attention, and noticed an uptick in the representation of this particular pairing. I even asked my Twitter followers if any of them had noticed the change to make sure I wasn’t tripping — and they had noticed it too.

There’s no shortage of research, articles, and books about interracial dating and I am somewhat troubled by how repetitive the discourse has become, particularly when Black women are centered in the conversations. Much of it comes from a deficit perspective and is heteronormative by default — Black men aren’t “matching” Black women in education, income, etc. so Black women need to either settle for less or consider dating “out” if they want to truly be happy.

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ZORA
ZORA

Published in ZORA

A publication from Medium that centers the stories, poetry, essays and thoughts of women of color.

Feminista Jones
Feminista Jones

Written by Feminista Jones

She/Her | Author, Activist. Philly-based, NYC-bred. #ReclaimingOurSpace Twitter/IG: @FeministaJones FeministaJones.com/contact for inquiries

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