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The Build-Up, the Fight, and the Aftermath
Dealing with a time bomb
Fighting can be debilitating. It can be extremely exhausting and then depressing. Dealing with explosive personalities and chronic overreactors can weigh heavy on you to the point of feeling paralyzed.
The freeze response.
Walking on eggshells is when you have to be cautious because you know the person you are dealing with is a ticking time bomb. They may explode, they may destroy you. You will survive physically but your soul may need life support. Your spirit will shatter when the bomb goes off and it might take days to get it back together. Why is it so hard for some people to treat someone like a human being? People treat their dogs better. The debilitating, paralyzing heavy burden that is depression weighs on you so heavily that making a simple meal is too much.
Getting up is too much.
It's not just the explosion it's the before and after as well.
The build-up, the fight, and the aftermath.
The buildup is the tension and the anxiety you feel. You can sniff it out like a dog. Before the bomb goes off there are red flags left and right, you can see. A ticking you can hear, Tick. Tick. Tick.
The fight is the escalation of anger and pain that results in an explosion and leads to a collision. The clashing of personalities.
A verbal lashing, hate spewed out, anger deposited — dumped on you. Life feels different, you have been humbled and stripped away, knocked down, stripped down, made less, made less than . . . You are thinking about your life now with more urgency. Things have changed. You have changed. You don’t want to live this way anymore.
The aftermath is the debris and rubble that you sit in covered in ash. You replay it over and over in your head. You survived an attack but now you are paralyzed. Your body won't move and you can’t think about anything else. All hobbies and interests are out the door, work won’t get done.
You are healing from a wound, the gauze and bandages are soaked through. The bleeding hasn’t stopped. You feel cold.
If your spirit moves you buy me a ko-fi ☕️
God Bless!
