The 10 Most Infuriating Things People Have Said to Me as a Black Woman

‘Do you know how to read?’

Sondra Rose Marie
ZORA

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Photo: Brooks Leibee/Unsplash

In the time of coronavirus, I spend a lot of time sitting around with the friends in my quarantine circle trading stories about our lives before the pandemic. Recently, our conversation turned to the worst dates we’d ever been on, and as I relayed one of my dating failures, I shared a racially charged comment one suiter made on a first date.

Immediately, one of my White friends balked at my date’s behavior while my friends of color laughed and offered to share similar tales of their own. Ignorant, offensive, and racist comments are old hat to most people of color. Many of us have heard them from a young age and learned to shake them off and keep moving.

But every once in a blue moon, there comes a racially charged comment that can’t be shaken. I’ve collected these comments over the years, from as far back as 11-years-old to as recently as last month. Each one carries the unique distinction of not only being unforgettable but of causing an intense discomfort on the verge of anger every time I remember them. As I think of them now, I think I’ve cracked the case of what makes these particular comments more upsetting than others, but in order to discuss that, I have to share these comments with you.

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Sondra Rose Marie
ZORA
Writer for

I write about things people don't bring up in polite conversation: race, death, mental health, and so much more ✨ www.srmcreative.co