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Unapologetic. Ours. A publication from Medium for Black women.

Get the most out of your alone time with these masturbation tips.

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May is National Masturbation Month and we honestly can’t think of a better way to show yourself some love than by really loving on yourself.

Masturbation isn’t something to be ashamed, secretive or embarrassed about. In fact, self pleasure is not only a good way to pass the time, but it can help you feel less stressed, feel more motivated and just feel good about life.

[Solo sex] is about more than just spending a couple of feel-good minutes in bed. Intimate alone time should leave you more…


RELATIONSHIPS

It’s not his gorgeous penis, his looks, attitude, or success that attracts me most. It’s the idea that it’s not too late for me.

Photo: Anna Shvets/Pexels

This guy just sent me a picture of his penis — two to be exact — and holy shit, you guys, it’s beautiful. However, as a general rule, I think all penises are ugly unless I’m in love with the man wielding said phallus. Under those circumstances, his dick might as well be made of gold and capable of granting wishes. When with the man I love, I adore his schlong, praising it, and seemingly pray at its alter when on my knees. …


Bestselling authors R.O. Kwon and Roxane Gay discuss their new work

Photo illustration; Image sources: Simon & Schuster, Reginald Cunningham, Smeeta Mahanti

Kink, a new anthology of fiction edited by R.O. Kwon and Garth Greenwell, explores the world of sexual desire in a way not often seen in literary fiction. Some of today’s most talented and acclaimed writers, such as Roxane Gay, Melissa Febos, and Carmen Maria Machado, delve into topics of love, dominance, submission, BDSM, and more, with stories about women, people of color, and queerness as it relates to sex and desire. The book gives voice to these characters in a way that breaks the boundaries of taboo, celebrating sexuality in both daring and moving ways.

In a time of…


Pandemic isolation may be beneficial in helping us get in touch with our truest sexual desires

Black woman lying in bed with eyes closed.
Black woman lying in bed with eyes closed.
Photo: Emmanuel Faure/Getty Images

Remember sex?

We went from hot-girl summer to celibate-girl winter in the blink of an eye. Covid-19 put an abrupt end to barhopping — and bed-hopping — shuttering us indoors to be alone with our thoughts and our most instinctive cravings. But these days, women are less likely to view celibacy as a sentence and more as a form of self-care, especially at a time when protecting your energy and prioritizing mental health are tantamount.

It’s hard to even have a conversation about female celibacy that isn’t connected to religion, relationships, or respectability. Celibacy so often entails taking a vow…


Sex & Love

Women are not sacrificing their time — or health — for superficial pairings anymore

Smiling Black woman sitting on a terrace with her laptop, on a phone call.
Smiling Black woman sitting on a terrace with her laptop, on a phone call.
Photo: Peter Dressel/Getty Images

Ayesha Faines is ZORA’s newest Sex & Relationships columnist. You’ll be hearing from her on a biweekly basis. This column is her debut.

“Before Covid, you could never get people to be open,” my college friend said one night over Zoom. “Men wanted to go to happy hours. They wanted to play rounds of ‘who do you know?’ Now, you’re actually getting to know each other.”

Judging by the looks of the women on my screen, we were all shocked, mainly because she lives in the heart of D.C., …


Illustration: D’Ara Nazaryan

The Pleasure Principle

Self-pleasure is a revolutionary act

This article is part of The Pleasure Principle, ZORA’s ultimate guide to solo sex, self-pleasure, and self-love. Take our Sex Survey to share your experiences.

Who says spending time alone has to be boring?

As we all reckon with the very real (and very depressing) possibility of spending more time in quarantine and socially distant isolation, now is as good a time as any to spend some time really getting to know yourself. And what better way to do so than engaging in some solo self-play?

“One of the many benefits of masturbation is an increased sense of self,” says…


The Pleasure Principle

Authors like Zane helped Black women realize that they come first (wink wink)

This article is part of The Pleasure Principle, ZORA’s ultimate guide to solo sex, self-pleasure, and self-love.

Like many Black women, it took a long time for me to accept the idea of being a sexual being. I’m 46 years old and about to get married (again!), and I still struggle with the idea that I can (and deserve!) the sex life I want.

There are two reasons for this. First, historically, Black girls have not been encouraged or even allowed to have sexual feelings. It’s understood that boys will eventually learn how to masturbate. It’s something we joke about…


Illustration: D’Ara Nazaryan

The Pleasure Principle

Your perfect sex life is written in the stars

This article is part of The Pleasure Principle, ZORA’s ultimate guide to solo sex, self-pleasure, and self-love. Take our Sex Survey to share your experiences.

You may have already heard the stereotypes when it comes to your zodiac sign and your sex life. Beyoncé and Tyrese have written entire songs about finding their special zodiac freak. You may think that Tauruses are all about pleasure, Cancers are the most sensitive in more ways than one, Scorpios are the undisputed sex goddesses, the list goes on!

But let it be known, every sign is sexy. Sun signs (or the sign that…


Illustration: D’Ara Nazaryan

The Pleasure Principle

Experts weigh in on why some women are having difficulty doing it

This article is part of The Pleasure Principle, ZORA’s ultimate guide to solo sex, self-pleasure, and self-love. Take our Sex Survey to share your experiences.

First things first: You are not alone, and you’re not broken.

If you’re one of the many women who aren’t able to reach an orgasm through masturbation or sexual intercourse, it can feel like you must be doing something wrong or, worse, that something is wrong with you. But there may be a solution in your search for sexual satisfaction.

“For many women and nonbinary individuals, reaching orgasm can be a struggle,” says Zita Nickeson


The Pleasure Principle

We put together a special and satisfying series all about solo sex, self-pleasure, and self-love

Vibration graphic illustration of a woman of color with red and pink swatches of color radiating around her.
Vibration graphic illustration of a woman of color with red and pink swatches of color radiating around her.
Illustration: D’Ara Nazaryan

This article is part of The Pleasure Principle, ZORA’s ultimate guide to solo sex, self-pleasure, and self-love.

When’s the last time you made your pleasure a priority?

I know for myself, I have a hard time putting my pleasure and happiness at the top of my list. It’s easy for me to go out of my way to make someone else happy. I’m an overachiever at work; I go above and beyond for my family and friends. Even in my relationships, I have a hard time making my needs the center of attention. I typically make sexy time all about…

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