Love And Sex

In ZORA. More on Medium.

Sex & Love

Do you think monogamy was put in practice to benefit women? Think again.

Closeup of a Black woman’s hand with an engagement ring.
Closeup of a Black woman’s hand with an engagement ring.

In 2017 I was shooting an episode of the Grapevine where the topic of discussion was gold diggers. I attempted to explain the subtle ways our romantic customs center male desire, often at the expense of female agency.

That’s when I said it, before a room of cheering women, and slack-jawed men.

“The truth about monogamy is — monogamy is the way that we can ensure that average Joes get to get married too!”

In my defense, I was neither praising polygamy nor slamming—well — broke men. I threw it in as an aside.

I thought this was common knowledge…


Sex & Love

In matters of love, it’s important to know the difference between boundaries and walls

Distorted gold-tinted reflection of a young Black woman.
Distorted gold-tinted reflection of a young Black woman.

Ayesha Faines is ZORA’s newest Sex & Relationships columnist. You’ll be hearing from her on a biweekly basis.

I’ll never forget the woman who asked me how she could open herself to love again.

I was speaking on a panel in Brooklyn, and I can still picture the vacant look in her eyes. She said that after multiple heartbreaks, she felt she’d become invisible. The few men who did approach her all seemed to have bad intentions. …


Sex & Love

Women are not sacrificing their time — or health — for superficial pairings anymore

Smiling Black woman sitting on a terrace with her laptop, on a phone call.
Smiling Black woman sitting on a terrace with her laptop, on a phone call.

Ayesha Faines is ZORA’s newest relationships columnist. You’ll be hearing her musings on the intersection of love and power on a biweekly basis. This column is her debut.

“Before Covid, you could never get people to be open,” my college friend said one night over Zoom. “Men wanted to go to happy hours. They wanted to play rounds of ‘who do you know?’ Now, you’re actually getting to know each other.”

Judging by the looks of the women on my screen, we were all shocked, mainly because she lives in the heart of D.C., …

ZORA

Bold, yet refined. A publication from Medium for Black women.

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