Self-Care Tips For Women Who Aren’t White

Limited income, stressful jobs, and daily traumas mean Black and Brown women need a more intense, less expensive pamper routine

Photo: Gary John Norman/Getty Images

It’s up to us to take ownership of how we, as women of color, define and refine our own healing practice. And news flash, that won’t always mean spending cash on a hastily-done manicure or expending energy decluttering your house when all you really want to do is sleep. That’s according to Thema Bryant-Davis, PhD, known as Dr. Thema on social media, a licensed psychologist, ordained minister, sacred artist, and past president of the Society for the Psychology of Women who is also known for her life-affirming tweets.

“I think one of the important things to know about healing is that it is not absolute. It does not mean the end of all distress,” says Bryant-Davis, who also hosts the Homecoming podcast. “I think sometimes the way people talk about it makes it seem like ‘well if I heal, it should never, ever bother me again.’ The truth is that it ebbs and flows, but you learn strategies so that when and if it reemerges we have the capacity to hold it and hold compassion for ourselves.”

Here’s what else the tenured professor of psychology at Pepperdine University (where she teaches clinical skills to would-be doctors learning about trauma in diverse populations) had to say about personalizing the self-care rituals that everyone else is touting without regard to how WOC fit into the mix:

1. Self-care is not something you can purchase or accomplish. It’s a process you honor and own within yourself.

“It is so important for us to name and acknowledge the impact of poverty, the impact of lack of resources, lack of access to resources — that those things do create stress,” Bryant-Davis says. “I think it’s insincere for us to not acknowledge that our finances can and do affect our mental health. To honor and nourish ourselves is not a limited activity for the wealthy. Whatever our income is, we can still take consistent and significant steps to honor ourselves.”