Oyster Lady and Cheesecake Factory Lady Demonstrate Problems With Modern Dating

Rosalyn Morris
Published in
6 min readOct 20, 2023


Photo by Wiktor Karkocha on Unsplash

It all went down in Atlanta.

One woman was taken on a date to The Cheesecake Factory and refused to get out of her date’s car because she said she was too beautiful to eat at a chain restaurant and that it would be embarrassing for her to be seen there.

The Daily Mail, as well as other media outlets, caught wind of this story and covered it.

Another woman was invited out for drinks by a man who’d been texting her, with no response on her part, for weeks and ordered almost two hundred dollars worth of food, including 48 oysters, crab cakes, and drinks that he refused to pay for.

In fact, he excused himself to go to the restroom and never returned.

Both of these women raise valid questions about what to expect on a first date.

Should the location of the date be agreed upon beforehand?

Will the date be a meal, activity, or drinks (coffee or cocktails)? Should this be decided beforehand? (Remember when the ice cream lady turned down an ice cream date?)

Who’s supposed to pay for the date? The woman? The man? Both? Or the person who asked for the date?

What’s an acceptable amount to spend for a first date? Is it rude to order the most expensive thing on the menu?

In the case of Cheesecake Factory Lady, at least there was a resolution between her and her date. They had a long conversation, where they both came to the conclusion that the other had not lived up to their expectations, and the man said he was taking her home. However, she wanted him to take her somewhere else, but he declined.

As the Daily Mail reported,

She orders him to get back in the car before he asks: ‘So, you expect a man to go all out on the first date, is that right?’

To which, she responds with an air of condescension: ‘You’re supposed to. When you take out a…