My White Boyfriend Told Me to Grow an Afro

I took the plunge and stopped relaxing my hair a few years ago, and I haven’t looked back

Andrea Coleman
ZORA

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Photo: Lee chinyama/Pexels

The entitlement of White men is notorious and well-documented. They think nothing of laying claim to land they just sailed their ships up to and forcing their religion upon other cultures they haven’t deigned to understand. Also, boat shoes. Therefore, it should not surprise you to hear that after spending a few years in a relationship with me, a Black woman, my White man started to have some ideas about my hair: his preferences for the way it looked and how I spend my time caring for it. Essentially, he wanted me to stop getting relaxers, “go natural,” and wear my hair in the style of an Afro.

It was partly my fault. I showed him Chris Rock’s 2009 documentary Good Hair. In the movie, Chris pulls back the curtain on the lengths that Black women go to maintain their hair. And, I’ll be honest. It’s A LOT. The money, the time, the effort of day-to-day maintenance is INCREDIBLE. Trust me. Or don’t trust me. Watch the documentary and you’ll be a believer.

So I think partly bolstered by the fact that Rock was also calling us out and partly because he’s just a White dude and spitting opinions is what they do, my man felt “entitled” to share his (unsolicited) opinion on the matter…

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Andrea Coleman
ZORA
Writer for

Reiki Master, Lawyer & Comic with over 815K views: I love rules, writing & laughing. https://linktr.ee/AndreaColemanComedy