My Dating Life Does Not Determine My Blackness
I wanted to create a digital space for ethical non-monogamy folx, but my self-disclosure came with the trolls
This past August, I started making resources on Instagram for folks interested in practicing ethical non-monogamy (ENM). The face of polyamory and ENM is overwhelmingly White and typically displays structures that replicate monogamy or coupledom. In this, I wasn’t really represented as a queer Black person who practices solo polyamory (meaning I am essentially my own primary partner). So I began working on ways to expand that. I’ve cultivated a humble following, but with that, naturally, comes the trolls.
Even though my work is about relationships, I try to stay vague about my own love life, though I occasionally show my partner and some of my friends in my stories. Because the approximately three people I’ve chosen to show my followers are White and I am loudly pro-Black on the internet, I was suddenly dubbed a fraud. I was pestered about whether I dated Black people, the number of folks I date, the race of my partner(s), along with a litany of other invasive comments on multiple posts. I decided not to answer directly, because I don’t think I owe anyone an explanation.
