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Why I Finally Cried for the First Time in Almost 20 Years
I learned it’s okay to not be a strong Black woman
Did you know that crying is actually a vital part of human life? According to healthline, crying helps us to detoxify our bodies, self-soothe, dull pain, and improve our mood. Babies and adults cry. It’s something as intrinsic as the knowledge of how to breathe. You get upset, you cry. You feel frustrated, you cry. People even cry when they’re happy.
I imagine I cried a lot as a baby, but from my adolescence into my twenties, I can count on fewer than 10 fingers how many times I cried.
That’s not to say that I was never sad or frustrated or in pain. But in my Black household, there were few acceptable times to cry. I could cry if someone died, or if I had a really bad injury or if something “serious” happened. All other times, I had to just suck it up and keep it moving. From the moment I grew boobs, I was expected to be an adult, grown, strong because I wasn’t a little kid anymore. I was growing into a “strong Black woman.”
There were a lot of things I could talk to my mom about. I told her when I was feeling annoyed at my teachers and my friends. I told her if anyone was bothering me at school or at home. But I never told her about the hollow feeling in my chest. I never told her that…
