Mom-Shaming Black Mothers Is Toxic And We Need To Do Better

No Ordinary Woman
Published in
6 min readApr 24

A few weeks ago, I was scrolling through my Instagram page when I came across a post by a popular Black female influencer.

Photo by Ben Masora on Unsplash

She was bitterly complaining about the negativity she was receiving from some of her female followers.

They were critiquing some of the choices she made regarding her work life and questioned her commitment to her family.

I’ve followed her on social media for a while, so I know that she has by all accounts, built her way up. She started her YouTube Channel in the early days of social media and has since made a name for herself in the industry, which has earned her the success she currently enjoys.

Her influencer lifestyle means that she often has to travel for brand deals and other work-related commitments.

But some of her followers are just not happy about this.

She complained that whenever she posts pictures of herself in a foreign destination, like Milan, Dubai, or New York, she receives dm’s from “concerned” female followers asking her:

“Where are your children?”

“Where is your husband?”

“It’s not fair that your husband has to sacrifice his career so that you can travel and live it up.”

“Why do you act like you are single?”

“I used to like you, but you’ve changed.”

One follower even said that they were fed up with her bad parenting choices and had decided to unfollow her.

I was a bit surprised by the backlash she was receiving.

I thought to myself, what in the world is going on?

Why are people so mad and in their feelings about a Black female influencer posting a picture from a foreign destination?

Why the pushback and the negativity?

The influencer hit back and argued her case. She said that over the course of her entire life, shes had to work very hard and was only now, enjoying the fruits of her labor.

She added that her family setup was great. And that her husband was a very involved parent who loved taking care of their kids. She added that her parents were equally…

No Ordinary Woman
Writer for

Writer || Wife || Mom || Lifelong Learner || I write on racism, culture, motherhood & sexism || Sometimes Unpopular || Always Authentic 💫

Recommended from Medium


See more recommendations