Jeannie Mai and the Privilege of Submission
Whether or not a woman chooses to submit in a relationship has to do with her finances as well as narratives imposed upon her race
Jeannie Mai ignited an impromptu gender war when she announced that she wanted to “submit” to her soon-to-be husband, rapper Jeezy, during an episode of The Real.
“I’m a very dominant woman,” she explained to her fellow castmates, “so when I come home, I like the idea that my man leads us.”
She caught flack for her blatant endorsement of traditional gender roles in marriage, but frankly, I understood. If I were in her position, I’d come home and allow my man to take the lead too. See, it’s easy for a woman like Mai to extol the virtues of submission when her version looks a lot different than it does for most women on the planet.
As a 41-year-old woman with an established career and financial security, wealth serves as a convenient buffer between her and the reality faced by most couples — the division of household labor that often disproportionately lands in the hands of “submissive” women. Her domestic tasks are outsourced, and given Mai’s firm opposition to motherhood, childcare is a nonissue. Her relationship doesn’t diminish her existence. She’s not handing over her autonomy…
