XOXO
It’s Time to Dispel the Myths About Dating While Fat
In this week’s column, Feminista takes on the so-called taboo of being a ‘big girl’ and why the mainstream has got it wrong
I first became aware that being fat put me in a separate category of women as a teenager, when men began saying things like “Big girls need love, too!” or “I like my women thick, Big Mama!” as they passed me on the street. It continues to this day. To them, I’m not just a woman, I am a big woman, and for a long time, the way men commented about my body size made me uncomfortable. Their comments were attempts at being flattering, and they thought they were doing me a favor by showing “appreciation” for my size in a society that regularly rejects the idea that fat women are beautiful and sexy. I’ve never asked for that kind of favor, though, so it still weirds me out when it happens.
Fatphobia, or the fear of or disdain for fatness or fat people, heavily influences the ways in which a woman’s overall social value is assessed. From being bullied in school and being go-to targets of comedy routines, to being erased from popular culture and discriminated against in the workplace, fat women often feel disrespected, unappreciated, uncared for, and undervalued. We’re thought to be lazy, unhealthy…
