Sleeping With the Enemy

How interracial couples are navigating racism in the age of Trump

Lori L Tharps
ZORA

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Photo: PeopleImages/Getty Images

The Before

Let me just begin by saying, I was raised by white people. I wasn’t adopted. I have two Black parents, but I lived in all white neighborhoods, went to white schools, and never in my entire childhood did I have a Black teacher, doctor, or librarian.

That being said, I never wanted to be white, but I did believe the white version of reality was worth imitating. I believed that, both consciously and unconsciously, until I was about 22 years old and moved to Brooklyn and began to unlearn my white education. Ironically, it was a white European man who taught me to not simply tolerate my skin color and physical features, but appreciate and love them. It was my Spanish husband who gave me the language to appreciate the beauty in my dark skin and the sexiness of my ass. And for that, I gave him my heart and we got married.

Ten years later, we had two sons. We left Brooklyn to live in Philadelphia. We found a multiracial neighborhood where our neighbors were Black, white, and other. Unlike my own all-white upbringing, the life we created for our family felt perfectly diverse. When Barack Obama was elected in 2008, we took our young sons to Washington, D.C. for his inauguration. Life looked so good.

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Lori L Tharps
ZORA
Writer for

Lori L. Tharps is a journalist and award-winning author who writes about the intersection of race and pop culture. She runs the ReadWriteandCreate.com platform.