I Created ‘Call Your Elders Day’ to Lift Up My Loved Ones
This weekly practice of care comes with valuable lessons
The voice on the other end of the phone is creaky, and the words are slow. But the warmth and gratitude are such a comfort, despite the distance between us. This year, I decided to make intentional, regular time to catch up with older relatives and family friends. I call it Call Your Elders Day, and it has become such a balm to my spirit. If you’ve got loved ones you’re far away from, I highly recommend it for both you and for them.
The longer the pandemic goes on, the more homesick I feel. I was born and raised in Trinidad and Tobago, approximately 2,680 miles away from Chicago. Video chatting has helped to fill the void somewhat, allowing me to at least see my parents and siblings on a regular basis. But there is so much more to island life that I yearn for and cannot fulfill here. I come from a big family that hosted regular social gatherings. Around the holidays it hit me. I was looking through old photos of good times at home, and I realized there were far too many people who had passed away. I started looking through photos of my extended auntie squad back home, and I realized a common denominator among the ones who are still here.
Most of my beloved older relatives or family friends are women over the age of 75, barely knew how to use their smartphones, and aren’t updating a captive audience of followers on their day-to-day activities. Without regular updates from apps, it had become too easy to set these folks off to the side of my mind, to just casually tell my parents to pass along my regards. There are no social media posts from my Auntie Shirley or Auntie Joyce. If I want to know what’s really going on with them, I must pick up the phone and call.
The idea for Call Your Elders Day started with a tweet and has become a weekly practice. The idea isn’t tied to a particular time frame, it can be weekly, fortnightly, monthly. But the main intention is consistency, and I want to pass this concept along to others, because I think it’s important. So far, Call Your Elders Day is going well. I’ve made calls to eight elders, with plans for more to come. Within the last month, I’ve talked to blood relatives and family friends who have known me since…
