How #Softlife Saved Me from Myself
Tales from a former workaholic, overachiever and caretaker
When I first heard the concept of #softlife, it resonated with me -hard.
It was 2021; I had just buried my mother, 11 months after burying my father, published two books, and started a transition into Higher Education. When things began settling down, I suddenly became more anxious. (The opposite of what you might think.) It took a while, but I finally realized that my increased anxiety was actually due to all this new free time I had. My body had gotten so used to being in a state of high pressure and constant stress that I had no idea how to function in a state of rest. That’s when I happened upon this new trending hashtag, #softlife.
The term “soft life” originated in the Nigerian influencer community as slang for living a life of comfort and low stress. Specifically meant for Black women to counter the “ Strong Black Woman” trope that is just as harmful as it is untrue. Black women were taking a stand, collectively saying, “Strong who? I don’t know her! And I don’t want to be her!” Black women are tired of having to be strong. For decades this unrealistic expectation came at the cost of sacrificing ourselves for the greater good of everyone around us. So the whole concept of abandoning this trope was quite revolutionary.
