How I Rediscovered Beauty in the Pandemic

Putting on your face isn’t as important as it used to be

afrobella
ZORA

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Black woman applying cream to her face in front of a mirror.
Photo: NickyLloyd/Getty Images

I grew up with a mother who believed in “putting on her face” before even venturing downstairs to greet company. She long proselytized the power of wearing makeup as a spiritual pick-me-up. Beauty was an exercise I was expected to perform from my earliest stages. Makeup and clothing were types of armor my mom taught me to put on before facing the world. My first, most visible act of interrogating beauty and bucking the norms I was raised to uphold was to cut my hair short in college and then go natural. Now the pandemic has me reconsidering many of the ways and reasons that I beautified myself.

As the creator of Afrobella.com, so much of my life has been devoted to writing about celebrating beauty on my own terms. Was I living that truth? Were they my own terms if these acts didn’t always bring me joy or if they were performed for praise and the public gaze? In a time where all responsible public gatherings are canceled and most of life’s expectations are thrown out the window, I had time to interrogate my personal needs in new ways. I realized how, every day, I performed the standards of beauty that were passed on to me, whether I wanted to or not. I started to notice the aspects of beautifying myself that felt like unnecessary obligations instead of…

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