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A Checklist for Keeping Your Black Daughter Safe
How I protect her from Covid-19, police brutality, and sex trafficking
The news is jarring this week, so perhaps you saw — or didn’t see — the story of the Black family in Aurora, Colorado, who were pulled over by police, had guns pulled on them, and told to lay face down on the ground while police investigated a stolen car call. The youngest child on the ground was a six-year-old wearing a pink princess tiara. Her family members ranged in age up to 17. Turns out the police pulled over the wrong car — they should’ve been looking for a stolen motorcycle instead.
Police told the mom they apologized for their actions and would provide for counseling for her children. But the damage was done. This is the story of 2020, it seems. At the same time, this isn’t new. Being Black while parenting has always been challenging given that we have to navigate systemic racism and bias, and now Covid-19, while also teaching our little ones how to navigate this themselves and protect them as best possible from this sometimes cruel and unforgiving world. After viewing the latest news of how Black girls are treated, I drifted back to those nights when my own daughter was an infant and I put her to bed. How do we as Black mothers protect our daughters when we live in a world where we are unsure of how to protect ourselves?
When my daughter was first born, we lived in a small, rural, conservative town in Missouri that was around 70% White. While driving down any given street, it was common to see a Confederate flag waving in the wind. When I returned to work, I remember how stressful it was to find a daycare for my daughter, who was six months old at the time. The thought of leaving her in the care of a stranger in that place — with its open displays of racism — was horrifying. Luckily, we found an amazing daycare that took excellent care of her, but I later realized that this birth was my introduction to the profound worry, and at times, unrelenting unrest that many Black mamas wrestle with while raising a Black daughter.
When most women find out that they’re pregnant, worrying about their daughter going to a racist daycare, going missing, or being brutalized or harmed by law enforcement is likely the last thing on their minds. But it needs…
