How Crying South Asian Brides Became a Symbol of the Patriarchy
While their big day may bring on a lot of emotions, the crying is much more complicated than you’d think
Losing a job, going through a heartbreak, or coping with loss are all commonly associated with emotional exhaustion, but what about weddings? Many South Asian Muslim brides deferred to agony and despair when asked to describe their weddings.
“Ultimately, I ended up in my parents’ bed, fetal position, just bawling my eyes out,” said Seham Siddiqui, an Indian American Muslim bride. She admits she rushed into marriage due to her personal excitement and an internalized urge to wed; and then divorced her ex-husband a few years afterwards due to red flags.
On her wedding night, Siddiqui was experiencing whiplash from the realization that her entire life was going to change immediately after the big day. She was simultaneously packing and crying the night before — overwhelmed, yet content with achieving the acclaimed wife status that South Asian women are often taught to aspire towards from a very young age. Like Siddiqui, many Muslim South Asians choose to marry because of a combination of pressure from family, a deep desire to satisfy internalized expectations, and/or a thrill from opening a new door in life.
