Grieving My Failed Marriage Helped Me Grow Stronger
We don’t always associate grief with this kind of loss, but maybe we should
It’s a blessing to know that no matter what, there’s always one door you can knock on and love will greet you on the other side. A smiling face, a warm hug, and a familiar voice saying “Come in, I’ve been waiting for you.” This concoction can be the most soothing balm to a sore, open wound.
That wound was my ruined marriage. The balm was arriving on my mother’s doorstep, a temporary getaway before I started my permanent rebuilding. But it was the declaration she made as she released me from her hug that was most transformative:
“You can grieve here.”
I had arrived with a checklist of things I felt I needed to do: remember to eat, take lots of naps, make sure my work didn’t suffer during the upheaval. But “grieve” wasn’t one of them. Little did I know, it was the only thing on my list that I needed.
One of the habits I developed when my marriage ended was to read about the various words and phrases people say when someone’s marriage has fallen apart. I needed to accurately describe how I was feeling then and find words that could be my empowering mantra moving forward.
