Defining My Own Strong Black Womanhood

There is power in vulnerability and setting boundaries

I always heard that being a strong Black woman was something to be proud of, and I am proud of it; however, the way that strength had been shown to me was always through suffering in some capacity. The constant experience of trials and tribulations, wrongdoings from others, and the compromise of one’s own happiness had found its way into my subconsciousness. I internalized it in a way that led me to struggle with vulnerability, affection or connection during intimate moments, and being too stubborn (I’m a Capricorn woman, I can’t completely help it).

To me, having a tough exterior meant that I was strong. Allowing men to dissatisfy me with mediocrity and not outwardly being hyper-emotional about it meant that I was strong (we will definitely cover this and affection in another post). Being ambitious and taking jobs that deep down had nothing to do with who I wanted to be or what I wanted to do meant that I was strong because I thought I had to in order to be successful. My strength was rooted in having something to prove to other people because of what I thought I was expected to be.

What I recently realized was that all of that was pure bullshit (this is my blog. I curse). Although it is a part of life to navigate challenges, my…