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What it Really Takes to “Level Up” in Love
We don’t have to dim ourselves to get what we want. It’s out there.
When California rapper Saweetie appeared on Instagram Live with her boyfriend, Quavo, and told women that a man isn’t worth dating “if he’s not getting you a Birkin,” it sparked a heated debate about women and their standards. How high is too high? But for me, that brief viral moment called to mind a real virtual movement taking place among Black women who dream of securing the bag, even if not a $100,000 Birkin, by leveling up.
Every day a new guru emerges with trade secrets for Black women who want to learn to be “feminine” in order to attract wealthy men. They are a part of a rapidly growing online community that embraces hypergamy — the practice of marrying a spouse of higher social status.
I get it. Some Black women have become so jaded in their pursuit of love, they’ve settled on the pursuit of money instead. And while I agree that Black women deserve to level up in every way imaginable, I’m wary that the ideas peddled in these hypergamous hives may be hindering them from doing just that.
We have Ciara to thank for the now-ubiquitous term “level up.” Her 2019 comeback song championed personal growth, while also being a thinly veiled reference to an Instagram post that implied…
