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What They Mean When They Say You’re ‘Not Social Enough’ at Work
Excelling in the job isn’t enough. Our bosses expect us to be perky and socialize after hours to be a ‘team player.’ Can we just live?
If anyone knows what it feels like to be on the receiving end of gaslighting, it is Black women. Oftentimes our complaints are dismissed as being unreasonable and our experiences are treated as fiction. But on Twitter, where Black women are free to vent and express themselves and can easily connect with one another, what are considered niche stories by some are validated as common realities among our collective.
On January 13, I tweeted about being penalized for not engaging in non-work related conversations at a past media job. Inspired by a post stating that “Black women are not allowed to be introverts,” I decided to share my own personal story with hopes that others would relate. The next morning I woke up to responses from thousands of other Black women who came across my thread and shared similar experiences, instantly confirming the sentiment was not only truthful, but a frequent reality.
Tia Burroughs, a 37-year-old independent consultant and licensed social worker living in Bensalem, Pennsylvania, identified with the thread immediately by quote tweeting “relatable.” At her last job, which was in the nonprofit organization management industry, Burroughs found herself having to over-perform and overcompensate in order to make her White co-workers feel comfortable. “It was a lot of pressure to be super happy, super friendly, super smiley, and super accommodating,” she tells ZORA. Burroughs says she was constantly asked by upper management if she was happy at the company. Managers also questioned her dedication to her team.
Despite meeting all of her goals and completing her work, Burroughs never moved up the corporate ladder because her personality was always an issue. “They expect Black women to bend over backwards. I watched my other co-workers, who would sit in their offices all day, do their work, then go home, and wouldn’t be very social, move up in the company. And it was fine for them. But for me, I always had to do extra — be perky, smile, and look excited all the time,” Burroughs says. She blames the…
