Member-only story
Black Women and The Romanticization of Struggle Love
There is a fine line between being loyal and simply wasting your time.
I have found that we have taken the phrase “ride or die” and have completely run it into the ground. Loyalty has been characterized as sticking by a partner despite them not only being unambitious, emotionally unavailable, and financially unstable but also when they have no real intentions of making a change. Obviously, all men do not check these boxes and we all have opportunities for growth that we need to work toward. But minimizing and parading any of these issues as “character traits” that Black women should be okay with is highly problematic and further places unfair pressure on Black women to grin and endure all.
What Exactly is Struggle Love?
Love, no doubt, takes work and sacrifice from both parties. In the context of long-term monogamous relationships, it is the decision to grow and do life with another person. Rather than “falling” in love with someone, I believe we choose to love someone. The important thing about love is that the effort is coming from both sides.
Struggle love can be defined in a number of ways. In a nutshell, it describes a relationship in which all of the work, sacrifice, and growth is one-sided. It all falls on…
