Big Black Girls Have Standards Too…Witcho Uglass

Hey y’all, heyyyy! It has been a minute, but I am back to dish on this fuckery we call dating. In 2020, I vowed to go one year without dating, and BOOM COVID-19 hit and helped me remain true to my goal and really grapple with life-long trauma with men. From a strained relationship with my father to unhealthy romantic (are lack thereof) relationships, COVID-19 high-key has become my Iyanla — it fixed my damn life!

One thing that has been consistent is that the men I have dated have had me fucked up thinking I shouldn’t have standards, because I am Black, fat, not light-skinned, have 4b/4c hair, and won’t put up with their shit. Here are 3 real BIG BLACK GIRL energy standards to remember when men have lost their damn mind.

Standard 1: Big Black Girls Take Up A lot of Room in First Place: So Get Yo Uglass Out the Way of This Prize

In my experience, many men show interest in Big Black Girls when they are at their lowest point(s) in life, because they can’t get the women they really want and their “ideal” woman ain’t gon put up with their bullshit. Well suprise, MF, Big Black Girls ain’t here for the tomfoolery either…lil bitty bih. Big Black Girls — ALL Black Women are a gift that a GOOD man should be proud to earn! To attempt to invalidate a woman’s worth because of her weight is trash AF. Negro, go be sorry as hell somewhere else, because Big Black Girls do not have time nor the space to build you up, engage your antiblack, fatphobic ass while you wait to get what you think you deserve once you “come up”.

Standard 2: Big Black Girls Aren’t Pillows to Cry On in Private and the Source of Ridicule in Public

Raise your hand if ashy ass men be talking all the sweet nothings in your DMs but stay bashing Big Black Girls on social media? Boy, if you don’t take yo raggedy, riding the fatphobic + misogynoir bandwagon ass on! Everyone has the right to be attracted to who they want, but what we are NOT finna do, is drag Big Black Women and then be in our DMs beggin to sniff our big ass drawers. Honey, play witcha pappy, don’t play with me.

Standard 3: Big Black Girls Are a Whole Lotta Woman and Require a Whole Man

Listen, Big Black Girls are not the damn Statue of Liberty, sweetie. We never said “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses…” — dats a whole damn lie spread by da devil. If you are not emotionally, spiritually, AND financially available, don’t bring your broke down ass over to Big Black Girls to nurse yo ass back health. Fix your own damn life, and then come back later or not. We actually are thriving and don’t give a damn. We prolly gon say, “nah, I’m good love, enjoy.”

Big Black Girls Deserve Space to Heal and Places to Be Loved

It’s hard being Black, it’s challenging being a Black woman, but it’s damn insufferable being a Big Black Woman. Brothas, in the words of the Black Tired Ass Woman anthem “if you don’t want me, then don’t talk to me…go ahead and free yo [UGLASS] self. Big Black Girls are the shit, so either shit or get of the damn pot…pun intended.

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