“Be the Villian in Other People’s Stories.”
Being the villain in someone else’s story is never a good feeling, but undoubtedly somewhere to someone, you are. I am growing to understand this about humans and learning to accept that it is NOT a personal attack on me but rather a projection of their hate for themselves; or their displeasure with whatever boundaries I might have set for myself.
I promise you, divorcing yourself from other people’s opinions, judgments, and narratives is the biggest, baddest flex you could ever achieve. Stop banging your head against the wall and losing sleep, trying to defend yourself against baseless attacks or rumors. It’s not your story to write, so stop trying to edit it. At the end of the day, you’re writing your story, and they are writing theirs. Both are true from their respective perspectives, and you can’t get bent out of shape by someone’s perception of reality. If they wanted to change their mindset about you, they would engage you in dialogue. They would ask to understand and open their mind and heart to learn. They would be willing to take accountability for their role in the narrative they created about you! You can’t control what comes from their pen any more than they can control who you are…and that’s why knowing and owning who you are is so important. A new type of superpower is activated when you can stand firmly in place with your shoulders pulled back and head to the sky.
When you become unbothered by the noise, an invaluable consolation prize is gifted in your spirit -Peace. You know who you are. You know the truth of the situation. You know the work that has been done to get you where you are today. You know why the boundaries you have are in place, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation to live your full self. There will always be someone, somewhere, willing to use their own trauma, self-hate, and loathing. If you ever find yourself the recipient of such venom, “breath” and remember, “I know who I am.” Look to your village or care circle to affirm the best parts of you and leave behind anyone else who is detracting from that. It’s not worth the fight…