Member-only story
5 Ways to Ask for Help Without Saying ‘I Need Help’
It doesn’t have to be complicated
Before we really get into this piece, I need to be honest about one thing: I am exhausted. Starting with shutdowns across the country last March, the resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement in June, and the four-day election mania of November, I still feel the wear of 2020. Any of these events on their own would be draining. But the combination of all three on top of the demands of everyday life — work! chores! planning a wedding! therapy twice a week! maintaining friendships! self-care! writing on Medium! — is almost debilitating. It’s only the third month of 2021 and I’ve already hit a wall that I’m not sure I have the energy to climb.
After weeks of silence, I came clean about my mental state to a few close friends out of sheer desperation. I needed my feelings to live somewhere outside of my body, so I typed them up and posted my feelings on a private forum of my closest friends. The moment I hit “post,” I doubted my choice: Would everyone tell me to “just hang in there” or suggest things weren’t that bad?
I was debating taking down my admission when the first response came in. “I can’t concentrate on work at all,” my friend wrote. Soon similar sentiments filled my inbox. “Even waking up feels like too much,” another friend revealed. A…
