Our Questions. Her Answers

4 Tips On Curing The “I Got It” Syndrome

Asking for support is an act of resistance. Author Elayne Fluker’s new book offers help to “unapologetically ambitious women.”

L'Oreal Thompson Payton
Published in
5 min readJun 29, 2021


Author Elayne Fluker thinks you should consider saying “yes,” the next time someone asks if you need help. Image: Mecca Gamble

“If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” It’s a widely shared proverb of questionable origins (though most attribute it to the continent of Africa), but for author, entrepreneur and podcast host Elayne Fluker, it’s a way of life.

In her debut book, Get Over “I Got It,” Fluker encourages “unapologetically ambitious women” to embrace support in every facet of life. To help women combat “I Got It” Syndrome, which she defines as a way of proving we can do it all by ourselves, Fluker has developed the following acronym H.E.L.P.:

H. = Having it all doesn’t mean doing it all alone.

“A lot of times we’re doing things on our own just to prove that we can. The most successful people in the world will tell you they have support — that there’s a team behind them, they have a mentor, or family that’s helping out. No one’s doing it alone and those who are are struggling to maintain that way.”

E. = Ask empowering questions.

“So not questions like why am I such an idiot? Why haven’t I figured this out yet? Instead, ask yourself, how can I get support for this? Who’s someone I might be able to talk to? How can I pause? That’s supporting yourself, too.”

L. = Let go of the “how.”

“Live that question and let go of the how’’ is something I learned from Patricia Moreno, creator of the intenSati workout. There’s this idea that if you’re an ambitious woman or someone who “gets it done,” you’re probably the person who has all the answers. But in this case, you have to be open.”

P. = Believe in the possibilities.

“You can’t do all this other work, but then believe it can never happen to you, or support never shows up. As Dr. Srini Pillay, who’s also mentioned in the book says…



L'Oreal Thompson Payton
Writer for

L’Oreal is a freelance writer and editor who’s dedicated to uplifting and inspiring Black women and girls through storytelling. Learn more at LTintheCity.com.